I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
