woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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