he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
