So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
