Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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