the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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