I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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