You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
