dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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