Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
