3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
