sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
