i was born a porn star she said
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
