Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
