I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
