it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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