that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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