do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
