life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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