Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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