I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
