At least make sure they are 18
Why
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
