Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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