So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
