OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Someone came in the potted fern
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
