awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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