i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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