She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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