she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize