2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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