Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
