I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
a search helicopter?!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
