Where is the hickey?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
