you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You may now shotgun with the bride
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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