Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
