But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
