you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
