Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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