I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We need a shit load of segways right now
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
is it fun? or sober?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
