omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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