:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
