There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
