If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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