all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
