corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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