drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
