Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
