I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
