Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
