she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
