My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize