it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
