and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
