I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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