How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
