she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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