Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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