He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Can I color on your dick again?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
