thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
