your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
