Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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