he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize