I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
