FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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