i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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